Periwinkle is a colour

i found this hooker today in the personal ads. i decided to call her up because she had her own website and on it i found a bunch of kinky, sexual pictures she had posted. i spoke to her about how much it would cost for an hour and decided it would be well worth it. she came over about forty-five minutes later and she was a lot more beat-looking than i had anticipated. she looked like she was an addict of some kind of controlled substance. naturally, this did not deter my drive to shove my penis in her. anyhoo, we chit chatted for a little while and she ultimately asked me to show her my bedroom. taking the cue, i took her to my room and showed her my room, my belongings, and naturally-- my bed. she asked my what goes on on my bed. i told her a lot of things she didn't want to know. she asked me "like what?" sleeping, mainly, i replied. she stated she could show me a few things on my bed that were different from sleeping and i graciously accepted her invitation. she lied down on the bed and spread her legs open, "spread eagle" style. she told me to come forth and show her what i was made of. i told her i would come forth, but if i showed her what i was truly made of she'd probably take my money and run out laughing. i made out with her for a while until my penis became chubbed up enough to do the deed. she wanted me to spank her and i asked her if she was naughty. she told me she was. i told her she should probably go to confessional but continued to spank her. she asked me to show her how big and hard my penis was and i told her i could only show her half of her request: i could show her how hard it was but how big it was was entirely subjective. i stripped down naked and proceded to give her the hardest, most determinedly disappointing sex of her prostitutional career and once it was over she asked me if i wanted to do it again in a few minutes. i declined to answer and fell unconsciously asleep. once i awoke i saw that she had departed and that all the money in my wallet was gone. that was fine, it was less than i had agreed to pay her to begin with. naturally, i got up, washed my genitals, then began looking through the personals again. how was your day?

content, not quantity.

i havent taken a shit in fourteen days. i'm auditioning my intestines for the new england journal of medicine, or guinness book-- whichever calls first. have you ever eaten pig's blood? i say eaten because once its dried its chewable. STOP TRYING TO BE PAT SAJAK!

Lemon.

I remember when I was about eight, I used to live with my family in this really poor condominium community in El Monte, California. I had the best times of my life there. The good thing about living in a real poor community is the community sticks together like a family. Well, at least there we did.
I remember this one day, it must have been a holiday. Not many of the usual kids that hung around together were around. It was myself, this six-year old kid named Brian, and two other kids unimportant to this story.
Brian was a goofy kid who never cared about much but always went along with whatever the rest of us were doing. It was probably because he was younger. Anyway, Brian had this two-year old little brother named Raymond. Brian's parents and grandparents lived there too, and whenever they would call for his little brother they would call him "Leh-mond" because they were some deep-rooted hardcore old school Koreans with deep-rooted hardcore old school Korean accents. For a number of years we thought his little brother's name was "Lemon."
On this particular day, we were all bored. Much of the condominium community had gone elsewhere and the four of us were stuck doing much of nothing in a place close to nowhere. We hung around one of the condomimium stoops next to the gargabe bin. Things were going very boringly until someone spotted Lemon walking towards us.
Lemon was in a diaper and nothing else. He was waddling towards us the way a two-year old would, and he had shit falling out of his diaper. He also had shit all over his hands. He must've been playing with his newfound bodily discovery. I remember seeing the look on Brian's face as he screamed. It was half-horror, half-glee. That was the cool thing about Brian-- he was always laughing.
Lemon started laughing the way unwitting babies do and we ran like hell. We bolted away through a back walkway and took off, laughing and screaming. We reconvened at the front of the condo's, near the gated front entrance. Once there, we relaxed, taking joy in the unpredictable event that had broken up our day of monotany. I remember thinking, yeah this is funny for the rest of us, but why is Brian running away from his brother and laughing? Oh well, kid shit, I suppose. Anyway, we enjoyed it and it definitely changed our moods for the better. I remember sitting, laughing and talking in a different mood from that point on.
It got even better when Lemon appeared again around the corner. Same shit-dripping diaper, same shit-stained hands, same unwitting baby laugh.
We yelled and laughed again, running away. At this point we realized our escapade wasn't over. No one wanted to go help Lemon and risk getting his dook on us and it was clear he was going to tail us wherever we went. This went on for a great portion of the day. It definitely broke up the monotany. The day ended when Brian's grandmother came outside looking for Lemon and saw what was going on. She verbally castigated Brian for doing this to his brother and quickly scooped up Lemon, shit and all, to take him inside for a cleaning. I don't remember why I remember this day so vividly. Perhaps I have an affinity for dook-related things.