Welcome to Southern California

if you're [un]fortunate enough to have regular employment during the business hours of monday thru friday, you either die a lot or a little each day. if you hate your job, you die a lot. if you love your job... you still die a little.

it's called traffic, and no matter where you live you can expect to die at least two hours a day from it. one hour getting there, one hour getting back. hey, an hour of driving to and from work isn't that bad, you say. WELL FUCK U SHMUCKO.

it's not that you're driving an hour here and an hour there, it's that you only live about twenty actual minutes from your job but you creep and crawl through traffic for an hour. it's like imagining you're gonna walk to your kitchen, but you're only allowed to do it half a step at a time, and you gotta wait five minutes before you can take the next step.

seriously, what the fuck is it with southern california congestion? i don't understand why more people don't snap and pull a martin lawrence. if i hated my job, i probably would have done it within the first week. my job is kinda cool so i'll probably end up doing it around the sixth.

don't get me started on surface streets, either. every jackhole on the freeway thinks they can circumvent traffic by taking those duplicitous side streets. think again. like i said, every jackhole on the freeway is now on those side streets thinking that same stupid thought you just did. what you end up with is a city street full of jackholes like you.

and what's up with weaving through traffic? yeah, YOU asshole, the motherfucker who weaves in and out of traffic like getting there seventeen seconds before i do is gonna amount to a shit of difference. congratulations bucko, you just killed twice as much gas as i did playing frogger on the freeway when we both took the same route getting there.

do i sound angry? good. because i was totally faking it. traffic really isn't that bad.