the golden age.

i made love to an old woman today.
well, she wasn't that old. she was only eighty-seven.
i met her at a bake sale.
i don't normally go to bake sales, but today i went in hopes of finding an old woman to make love to.
so anyway, i managed to convince her her car was broken and offered to give her a ride home.
i never said who's home.
as soon as we pulled up she recognized that my home was not hers.
i managed to convince her her alzheimer's was kicking in and managed to talk her into coming inside for a glass of milk.
milk deters alzheimer's, by the way, or at least that's what i told her.
once inside i immediately began tearing away at her sundress.
she didn't put up much of a fight, which is how i knew she wanted it.
i pulled off her sundress and was slightly put off by the sight of her Depends undergarments but that didn't stop me. i stopped to ask her if her plumbing still worked and she said she didn't know, that her landlord took care of that.
anyway, i asked her when the last time she got some "good lovin'" was and she asked me what year this was.
she said the last time she got laid it was interrupted by war sirens.
anyway, we made love under the sycamore tree(or at least that's what i told her my halogen light was) and once i was done i was surprised to hear her still moaning.
she told me i had broken her hip during our ordeal and i apologized. i asked her if i was too rough and she said no, but that i should not have incorporated a baseball bat.
i apologized and began to dress her.
i asked her where she lived and if she wanted a ride back.
she said she didn't know, that her alzheimer's was kicking in.
i told her she could stay at my place, but that in about twenty minutes i would start to feel an animalistic urge for round two and round two always means one thing for me: extra violence and kinky!
she immediately ran out the door but i managed to chase her down and tackle her at the mailbox.
i told her that playing hard to get really turned me on and she began to say something but accidentally spat out her dentures. i said i found that really hot and that at that moment i wanted nothing more than to feel her "gum" my genitals.
how was your day.