Deli meat.

i saw an old lady's vagina today. it horrified me. she had to be at least 80. she was crouched down, gardening, and as i passed i caught a glimpse up between her legs. she was wearing an old pair of boxers for some reason, under her dress. the flaps were open, exposing something that looked like a half eaten pastrami sandwich on wheat bread. i nearly dry-heaved as i jerked my head away, but by then it was too late-- i had already caught a glimpse. one glimpse is all it took to scar me for life. i'll never forget that wrinkled-up package of flesh located between her legs. it looked like a flesh-colored gremlin that had been chopped up into slices by a large meat cleaver. it looked like a package of pastrami meat that had been left in the sun for years. it looked like it smelled like rotten mayonnaise. damn you, old lady. damn you and your medusa-like beav turning me to stone.