Kobe: Congratulations, You Selfish Bastard.

Kobe scores 81... teammates feel 100 points of hatred... American Idol Returns... greatest show on earth... tap my phones Mr. Bush... guaranteed best phone sex you'll ever hear... Palestinian election takes place... Hamas loses, plans retaliation attacks... Gerald Ford leaves hospital... coulda sworn he was dead... Seahawks, Steelers Super Bowl... tune in for the commercials... South Korean scientist admits faking first cloning... South Korea's becoming Americanized after all... Bush tries to subpoena Google searches... I'm not worried unless he tries Limewire... Brad and Angelina adopt more kids... poor, poor kids... even Woody Allen fears worst... Colin Farrell sextape banned from trading... got it three weeks ago on Limewire... Rosario Dawson in Alexander was hotter... mega-massive titties... George Bush says has not seen Brokeback Mountain... Dick Cheney's daughter says she's living it... Roman Catholic priest convicted of molestation freed... come repent your sins, kids... Michael Jackson to join clergy...